1 00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:06,740 Carla: cheers is filmed Before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,076 So, norm... 3 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,711 Any luck Impregnating vera? 4 00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,416 I miss the good old days 5 00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,418 When people Asked things like, 6 00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:19,920 "How are those Red sox doing?" Things like that. 7 00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:22,290 Well, excuse me For caring. 8 00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:25,626 I'm sorry, larry. 9 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,261 I'm just a little edgy. 10 00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,529 You have to understand. 11 00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:31,532 I've gone an entire Month with sex. 12 00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:34,935 Yeah, it's all right, Normie. 13 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:37,238 Larry understands, Don't you think? 14 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:40,274 Look, you've been trying For quite a few weeks now, 15 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:42,576 And you have yet To strike pay dirt. 16 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:45,279 Can I ask you A personal question? 17 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,282 Heaven forbid This conversation Get personal now. 18 00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:51,085 You've been to A fertility specialist? 19 00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:55,689 Yeah, actually we have, But I don't have a lot Of faith in this guy. 20 00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:58,959 He's got vera sprinkling Powdered rhinoceros horn 21 00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:02,230 On my cereal In the morning. 22 00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:05,266 Does it make you feel More virile, normie? 23 00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:08,336 Not really, But every now and then, 24 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:11,472 I get this urge To charge a jeep. 25 00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,446 * making your way In the world today * 26 00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:21,449 * takes everything You've got * 27 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:24,218 * taking a break From all your worries * 28 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:27,488 * sure would help a lot * 29 00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:30,858 * wouldn't you like To get away? * 30 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,529 * sometimes You wanna go * 31 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:39,367 * where everybody Knows your name * 32 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:44,538 * and they're always Glad you came * 33 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,209 * you wanna be Where you can see * 34 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:50,711 * our troubles Are all the same * 35 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:54,548 * you wanna be where Everybody knows your name * 36 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,386 * you wanna go Where people know * 37 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,854 * people are all the same * 38 00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:05,726 * you wanna go where Everybody knows your name * 39 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,717 Good afternoon, Everybody. 40 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,051 Norm! Norm! Norm! 41 00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:32,186 Norman. 42 00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:34,888 What would you say To a beer, normie? 43 00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,357 Daddy wuvs you. 44 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,395 Yii! It's freezing In here. 45 00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:42,863 Didn't you hear? 46 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,799 We're giving our appliances The winter off. 47 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:48,436 There's some kind of blockage In the heating system. 48 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,737 The furnace is working, 49 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,739 But we're not getting Any hot air. 50 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,541 What's sammy Gonna do about it? 51 00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,576 I cannot believe This helplessness. 52 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:58,111 How about a little Yankee ingenuity here? 53 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,713 If cheers were burning, 54 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,716 Would you wait for sam To get back to do something About it? 55 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,586 No, diane, because I already taught Them the fire drill. 56 00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:08,456 We all file out In an orderly fashion 57 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:11,492 After nailing Your hair to the bar. 58 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:21,201 Clifford, we don't Usually see you in Here this early. 59 00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:23,504 Uh...I'm sick, diane. 60 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,640 I must be coming Down with something. 61 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,343 I thought I'd Get some coffee 62 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,911 Before I finished My route. 63 00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,180 No, cliff, a brandy. Let me get you A nice brandy. 64 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,749 No, coach, I hope I'm never that ill. 65 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,451 As long as I'm carrying This bag, 66 00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,587 There's one thing that Will never touch these lips. 67 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,789 You mean There's something That wants to? 68 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:44,792 Alcohol. 69 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,193 I'm on duty, carla. 70 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,195 Just the coffee, Please, coach. 71 00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,998 I can do better Than that for you. 72 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,601 Will somebody go Upstairs to melville's, Please, 73 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,570 And get this man A bowl of hot soup? 74 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,739 What happened To the heat? 75 00:03:58,806 --> 00:03:59,673 Some minor malfunction 76 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,810 That no one here Is skilled enough 77 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:04,445 To even attempt to fix. 78 00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:05,613 Diane, I resent that. 79 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,215 I'm kind of a handy guy. 80 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:09,617 I'll have you know Just the other day, 81 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:12,219 I changed one of them, uh... 82 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,221 What do you call them? 83 00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:15,222 A light bulb? 84 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,325 Light bulb. There you go. 85 00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:20,027 Why don't you Just call in sick? 86 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,630 No. I could never do that, Diane. It's a matter Of principle with me. 87 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,632 I've got to be On the verge of death 88 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,034 Before I take Sick leave. 89 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,603 I thought You used it all up To go to florida. 90 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,439 You got a problem With that? 91 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,242 Here you go, cliffie. 92 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:36,644 Thank you, normie. 93 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,246 How many letters You got left? 94 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,849 I don't know. Seven or eight. 95 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:44,151 Boy, this tastes good. 96 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,787 Hey, you know something? These are all On my way home. 97 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:49,423 Let me drop these off for you. I got to go home anyway. 98 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,258 Uh, no, norm, You're not trained. 99 00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,093 You're not Qualified. 100 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,662 What qualified? 101 00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:57,264 You drop them In a slot. 102 00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,266 A chimp could do it. 103 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,068 Are you kidding? No way. 104 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,271 They did a study At the university Of michigan. 105 00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,239 Chimps were 32% slower. 106 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,877 Oh, yeah, yeah, They were better With customer relations 107 00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:11,345 And everything, but... 108 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:13,514 Clifford, 109 00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:16,283 The man is offering To do you a favor, 110 00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,819 Out of friendship, For your own good. 111 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:21,455 Sounds like you Have two options. 112 00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:22,756 You let me deliver these 113 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:27,595 Or run the risk of Nondelivery-livery-livery. 114 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,962 I'll drop these off. 115 00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:31,699 Thank you, normie. 116 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,701 Just remember, In those envelopes 117 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:36,704 Are the dreams, Hopes, and fears Of a nation. 118 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,507 Yeah, and several Car wash announcements. 119 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,648 Hey, everybody. 120 00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:50,784 Oh, boy. Holy cow, What happened here? 121 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,786 It's warmer up In the mountains, 122 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,722 And we were Au natural. 123 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,457 Hey, coach, Did you check The furnace? 124 00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:59,493 It's not the furnace. It's that damn vent. 125 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,662 I called a repairman, An old buddy of mine. 126 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,363 He's on his way over. 127 00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:05,966 Oh, gosh, well, bambi, It looks like it's up To you and me 128 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,836 To generate A little heat For these folks. 129 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,070 Don't bother. 130 00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:13,006 We'll just huddle around A three-watt light bulb. 131 00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:15,743 Feisty little barmaid. 132 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,746 I took her in Off the streets. 133 00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:21,549 She's crude, But devoted. 134 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:25,953 You know, I had a terrific time. Thank you. 135 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:26,954 Thank you, sam. 136 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,490 It was the best ski trip I ever had. 137 00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:30,591 Yeah. Me, too. 138 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,993 Did you find any time For skiing? 139 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:36,730 No, darn it! You know, somebody Stole our skis. 140 00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:39,667 We had to spend The weekend In the lodge. 141 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,671 That's too bad. 142 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,272 Yeah, but when we Were leaving this morning, 143 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:49,009 They turned up In the rack on the roof Of sam's car. 144 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:56,016 Yeah. Some kids Must've stolen them For joy-skiing. 145 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,719 Disrespectful punks. 146 00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,287 Yeah. 147 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,690 Well, I got to get going. I have to be at b.U. In half an hour. 148 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,026 Ok. B.U.? That's boston University, isn't it? 149 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,795 Uh-huh. That's right. 150 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,797 Yeah, where all The smart types Hang out. 151 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:12,600 What are you Studying there? 152 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:13,934 I'm not Studying anything. 153 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:17,805 I'm going to be part Of a fraternity stunt. 154 00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:19,940 Yeah, she's, uh... 155 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:23,010 She's tutoring Some of the boys. 156 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,012 Well, in a way. 157 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:25,813 Yeah. 158 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:28,015 I'll see you Later, sam. 159 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,316 Yeah, you take care. 160 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,018 Oh, boy. 161 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:35,823 Well, I guess I better take a look At this air duct. 162 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,358 Sometimes the problem's Right here. 163 00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:39,993 Bambi? 164 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,995 Yeah. What's wrong With that? 165 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:46,934 Oh, I suppose It's better than Dumbo or goofy. 166 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,203 Not as appropriate, But... 167 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:55,208 Coach, can I have My flashlight, please? 168 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,910 You know, sam... 169 00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,548 I can't help But noticing 170 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:05,018 That bambi wasn't The same little deer 171 00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:08,388 That you left here With on friday. 172 00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:10,323 No, I got rid of cindy. 173 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,325 We weren't compatible. 174 00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:15,162 Really? What was The problem there? 175 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,464 She was Dumb as a post. 176 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:18,465 Oh. 177 00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,467 With so much In common, 178 00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:23,671 I can't imagine why You two went awry. 179 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,138 No, I'm serious. 180 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:28,041 I mean, she just wasn't My intellectual equal. 181 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,810 You should have told me 182 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:32,646 You were looking for Your intellectual equal. 183 00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,214 I could introduce you 184 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:37,818 To something that's growing On my shower curtain. 185 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,386 Well, thank you, diane. 186 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:43,290 But I think I'll wait and see How bambi works out. 187 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,526 Well, I guess I've done Just about everything I know what to do here. 188 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:50,898 You shined A flashlight on it. 189 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,033 Yeah, it usually Works, too. 190 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,736 Boy, this one's Really got me stumped. 191 00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,507 Could somebody Go to melville's 192 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:03,510 And get me A little more soup? 193 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,078 What about you, Larry? 194 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,680 You're not doing Anything important There, are you? 195 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,215 Yeah, yeah. All right. 196 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:10,050 Good man. 197 00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:11,785 Thanks a lot. 198 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:13,887 I suppose you Want some crackers? 199 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:17,524 Those low-sodium kind, All right? 200 00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,827 What's he doing In my office? 201 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,695 Sam, the guy is Sick as a dog. 202 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,530 Actually, coach, I'm not so bad now. 203 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,999 I could probably sit up At the bar there 204 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:29,202 And let larry bring Dinner down to me. 205 00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:31,905 Cliff clavin? 206 00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,608 Yeah, officer. What's the trouble? 207 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,210 Do you know A norm peterson? 208 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,545 Yeah. What is it? 209 00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,013 We have him Down at the station. 210 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,549 We've arrested him For mail theft. 211 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:45,485 No, no, no. You made A mistake there. 212 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,287 No. There's no mistake. 213 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,857 We caught him red-handed Messing with the mailboxes On your route. 214 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,559 He had a handful Of letters. 215 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,562 He said he was Delivering them for you. 216 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,497 Yeah. I asked him to. You asked him to? 217 00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:00,233 Well, you're Out of a job, fella. 218 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,568 Well, excuse me, Officer. 219 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:04,037 You interrupted me Before I finished. 220 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,874 See, I asked him To quit following me. 221 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:10,410 I mean, the guy, I had him pegged as A sociopath right away. 222 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,712 He's a frustrated Mailman. 223 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:15,282 We call it postal envy. 224 00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,151 So, uh... 225 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:21,221 So, anything serious Gonna happen to This man? 226 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,790 Not serious enough. 227 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:26,593 Yeah, dammit. I rue the day they Outlawed flogging. 228 00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:27,695 Bleeding their eye. 229 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:28,862 Oh, yeah. 230 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,331 So, how well do you Know this guy? 231 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:33,233 Oh, you know, We talk every Now and then. 232 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,568 He's a portly guy, Isn't he? 233 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,404 Full-sized. Yeah. Yeah. 234 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:41,008 What actually is Going to happen To this patterson fella? 235 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:41,875 Peterson. 236 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,610 Excuse me, officer. 237 00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:46,246 I the owner of The bar here. Sam malone. 238 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,715 Is there a problem? 239 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:50,583 No. Some guy tried to Implicate this letter carrier 240 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,419 In a mail theft On his route. 241 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,620 Crazy, huh? 242 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,422 You're kidding me. Mail theft? 243 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,390 That's ridiculous. I've known cliff For years. 244 00:10:57,457 --> 00:11:00,193 He wouldn't Be involved in Something like that. 245 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,729 You're a fine bartender, Sammy. 246 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,630 You, sir, sure are One of boston's finest. 247 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:04,898 Well, thanks. 248 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,533 We just had To check out the story. 249 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:09,636 And check it out you did. The federal government Appreciates 250 00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:11,905 The cooperation Of you local boys. 251 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:15,308 I just hope our penal system Can rehabilitate the wretch. 252 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:16,944 Thank you, officer. 253 00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:20,280 Can you believe that? Guys, you hear that? 254 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,250 Sammy, what do you say We go shoot some stick? Why not? 255 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:26,653 They arrested some guy On cliff's route For mail theft. 256 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,421 You want eight-ball? Straight pool? 257 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,091 Wait a minute. Norman was finishing Your route. Clifford? 258 00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,626 Whoa, whoa. What was that? Norm? 259 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:34,928 You mean that They arrested norm? 260 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,364 You didn't Straighten the cop Out? 261 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,933 Not exactly. It's a little Bit complicated. 262 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,668 So, sam, You want to break? Want me to break? 263 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,470 Clifford, get back here. 264 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,373 Oh, look, Isn't it obvious What I did here? 265 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,942 Yeah, it's obvious What you've done. 266 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:52,512 You've run your Best friend, norm, Up the river. 267 00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,947 We're in trouble here. 268 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:56,649 I mean, My job's hanging By a thread. 269 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,951 Norm's in jail anyway. 270 00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,753 Just leave him there A little while longer 271 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:02,155 While I figure out What's the best thing to Do for all concerned. 272 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,490 Norm will be ok. 273 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,592 Hey, norm isn't At some party, You know? 274 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:08,796 I mean, by now he's Had probably had all His valuables taken, 275 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,298 Been strip-searched, Been deloused, 276 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,501 And thrown into Some dark, cold cell 277 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,169 With a sex-starved Pervert. 278 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,604 So? 279 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:20,540 That's how he Describes a typical Evening at home. 280 00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,375 Clifford. Hey, come on. 281 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,794 The reason I called You here is because I'm Looking for an attorney 282 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,629 That specializes In criminal federal Offenses. 283 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,966 You'll be defending The best friend I have In the entire world, 284 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,801 And money is no object. 285 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,170 How much? 286 00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:51,504 For one guy? 287 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:54,341 Stick your writ In your briefs, 288 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,176 You ambulance chaser. 289 00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,814 Let's let some young Hungry public defender 290 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:03,450 Make a name for himself On this one, all right? 291 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:06,386 Look, I wish you'd see this Through my eyes. 292 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:09,322 I'd like to see this Through your eyes. 293 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,824 Come on, carla, Norm's a sweet, Cuddly guy. 294 00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:13,460 The jury will take one Look in his sad eyes, 295 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:16,396 And there's no way They're gonna fry him. 296 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,999 Whereas My whole career could Hang in the balance. 297 00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:21,401 I'd like to see you Hang in the balance. 298 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:25,005 I notice a certain Reoccurring theme in Your comments, carla. 299 00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,841 Look, norm was doing You a favor. 300 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,176 You don't even know 301 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,879 If you were gonna get Into trouble, cliffie. 302 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,414 Come on, Will you get Off my back? 303 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,417 All right. Look, if This is what I got To do, 304 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,219 I'll do the gutsy Thing and call The post office 305 00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,221 And get norm Out of there. 306 00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:43,423 I'll just call them And tell them it Was the o'hara kid. 307 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,558 Yeah. He wouldn't Mind spending Some time in jail 308 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:46,860 If you get my drift. 309 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,361 [groans] 310 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,430 Hey, where's Your sense of humor? 311 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,332 If norm was here, He'd be laughing. 312 00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:54,634 If norm was here, he'd be Tearing out your tonsils 313 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,369 And feeding them to you. 314 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,171 All right, look. 315 00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:00,173 I'll call and see What the penalty is, 316 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,409 But it's got to Be anonymous. 317 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,844 Ok, everybody in favor Of cliff calling, 318 00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:06,413 Raise your hand. 319 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,883 It's anonymous. 320 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:12,452 Not even an extension. 321 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:15,588 That's just what I wanted to hear. 322 00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,592 Oh, how'd you Make out, sam? 323 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:20,660 Lousy. 324 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,395 They won't let norm go 325 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,697 Unless the post office Drops charges, 326 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:28,001 Which means Cliff's going to have To tell the truth. 327 00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,669 I gotta talk to him. 328 00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,304 He's on the phone now. 329 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,739 Confessing? 330 00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,875 No, he's finding Out what would Happen if he did. 331 00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:38,145 Meantime, you've Got some other Problem. 332 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,880 The furnace guy Didn't show up? 333 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:43,383 No, and we decided 334 00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,052 Somebody should Climb into the duct 335 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:47,254 And try to open it. 336 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,288 Who? 337 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,757 The skinniest person We could think of. 338 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,292 Ha! You're kidding me! 339 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,561 Diane actually agreed To crawl around In the air duct? 340 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:58,565 She had to. She'd been Shooting her face off About it all day. 341 00:14:58,631 --> 00:14:59,699 Where is she now? 342 00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,701 Underneath you, sam. 343 00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:03,436 Well, I always Knew that, but-- 344 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,738 Oh, my goodness! 345 00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:08,741 Ha ha ha! Looky here. 346 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:09,977 How about that? 347 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,412 I'm glad you Find this amusing. 348 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:15,448 Well, what are you Doing down there, huh? 349 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,150 Aerobics, you idiot. 350 00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:20,887 Why don't you get out Of there, silly, So I can fix it? 351 00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,722 I can't crawl Any farther, 352 00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:26,926 And my clothes are snagged, So I can't back up. 353 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:28,761 I'm stuck right here. 354 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,930 Ok, egg toss fans. 355 00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,632 Step right up. 356 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,934 Hit the geek And win a beer. 357 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:36,536 Three eggs For a nickel. 358 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:39,639 Sam, aren't you going To step in here? 359 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:40,773 You bet your booties I am. 360 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,743 I only got a dime, So give me six. 361 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,178 Sam, please. 362 00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:46,980 Carla, how could You suggest Such a thing? 363 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:49,416 Tell you what I'll do, I'll go down in The basement, 364 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,951 See if I can Get you out, all right? 365 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:52,952 Thank you. 366 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,187 Oh, sam. Yeah? 367 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,456 Will you put The grate back, please? 368 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,958 Someone almost Stepped on my face 369 00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,661 With the cutest Little satin pumps. 370 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:02,962 Ooh. 371 00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,664 's all right? 372 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,166 's all right. 373 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,469 Well, My supervisor confirmed 374 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:12,072 Exactly what I suspected all along. 375 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:15,908 That he hired you As a token weenie. 376 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,510 No. He told me that A courier 377 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,446 Who lets somebody else Deliver his mail for him 378 00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:21,148 Could face a hearing Where, depending on His prior record, 379 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:24,617 He could be Suspended or even Relieved from duty. 380 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,386 What about norm? 381 00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,321 Look, you know as well As I do normie's got No previous record. 382 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:29,622 They'll just give him 383 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,425 A suspended sentence And a sharp reprimand. 384 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,827 Aw, damn it, cliff, You're wrong. 385 00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:37,330 You know you're wrong. 386 00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,666 You should be Ashamed of yourself. 387 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:42,169 Coach is right, Clifford. 388 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,171 You don't deserve To have a friend Like norman 389 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,373 If you let Him down now. 390 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:47,874 Yeah. 391 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,710 So either you go in there And straighten this out, Or we will. 392 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:53,346 Yeah, we're never Gonna let show your Face in here again. 393 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,614 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 394 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,450 All right. All right. 395 00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,753 I'll call my supervisor And explain the Whole thing 396 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:01,954 First thing In the morning. 397 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,856 Now! 398 00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,358 All right, now. 399 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:08,061 I'll go explain The whole thing now. 400 00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:11,864 I want you all to know This is going to mean The end for me. 401 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,366 Yeah. 402 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:16,869 I'll--I'll be a civilian. 403 00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,671 One of the crowd. 404 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:22,375 There's a lot of things I'm going to miss, too-- 405 00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:25,378 The free mucilage, The twine. 406 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,380 The "Open with care" Labels 407 00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:31,384 We used to stick in our flies At christmas parties. 408 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,386 The uniform And the respect. 409 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,388 Yeah, I'm leaving here A mailman. 410 00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,590 I'm coming back A nobody. 411 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:40,893 Diane. 412 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,695 I can't get to you. 413 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:45,598 The opening Of the air duct Too small. 414 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,134 Ohh. 415 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,136 Coach? Call The furnace man, please, 416 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,404 And tell him It's an emergency. 417 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:54,507 I already called him again Earlier this evening. 418 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,710 He said he might Not make it at all. 419 00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,712 Sam, do something. 420 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:02,915 I will, sweetheart. I know somebody else I can call. 421 00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:04,417 Listen, I mean this-- 422 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:05,952 You say the word, I don't care The cost, 423 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:09,922 I will rip this Floor up to get you Out of there. 424 00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,924 Oh, do it, sam, please. 425 00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:14,127 That's not the word. 426 00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:17,930 Swine! 427 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:20,133 No, no, you're Getting colder. 428 00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,708 Come on now, Sweetheart. Open up. 429 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:29,842 Mm-mmm. 430 00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:31,511 Come on, Darling, 431 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,946 You don't know How long you're Gonna be in there. 432 00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:35,448 You got to Stay warm. 433 00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:36,949 Sam, I'm, ah-- [coughs] 434 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,951 There you go. 435 00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:40,887 Oh, I'm sorry. 436 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,655 You know, diane, 437 00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:46,859 The important thing here is Just to relax and stay calm. 438 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,662 Just remember, Rats sense fear. 439 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:52,365 Carla, ah-- 440 00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:53,700 There you go, Darling. 441 00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:56,035 There you go. 442 00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,670 How's that, huh? 443 00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,873 Sam, I'm not hungry, And I'm not cold. 444 00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:03,142 I just want to Get out of here. 445 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,677 I know, sweetheart. 446 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,880 The guy called, Said he'll be here In a minute. 447 00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,582 Say... 448 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:13,886 Just on the off chance The guy's not able 449 00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:15,388 To get you out of there, 450 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:16,689 Don't you think You'd feel better 451 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:19,392 If you were to declared Your love for me now 452 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:22,895 While you still Have the chance? 453 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,864 You're right, sam. 454 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,866 [whispers] 455 00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,868 What did you say? 456 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,572 No! 457 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:34,574 Let go! Let go! 458 00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,909 Yeow! 459 00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:39,812 Said she loves me, Always has, Always will. 460 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,617 You're off the clock, Sweetheart. 461 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:45,885 Only a dollar? 462 00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:49,422 No, it's happy hour. It's only 50 cents. 463 00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:52,292 Ok. 464 00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:56,162 Pucker up, baby. 465 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,830 Aah! 466 00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,699 Sam! 467 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,000 Go sit down, pal. 468 00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,869 Go sit down. 469 00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:04,504 How could you do that? 470 00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:06,706 It's all right. He had all his shots In the army. 471 00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:07,707 Th-- 472 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,345 Big news, everybody. 473 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,347 Because of My spotless record, 474 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:17,450 I only received A 30-day suspension. Whoo! 475 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:20,186 Well, what about norm? Is norm getting out? 476 00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,522 My supervisor already Called the cops. 477 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:23,756 So you see, Virtue triumphs again. 478 00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:25,792 Set 'em up, sammy, Drinks are on me. 479 00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:27,760 Well, I guess I got To give you credit. 480 00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,962 I know that wasn't An easy thing to do. 481 00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:30,963 Thank you, sammy. 482 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,465 Say, cliffie. 483 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:33,766 What do you suppose Is gonna happen 484 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,603 When the big guy Walks through that door? 485 00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:37,804 Well, I think out Attitude should be 486 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,472 That he's paid his Debt to society. 487 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:42,309 I mean, Let him start A new life, I say. 488 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:45,244 That's not exactly What carla had in mind. 489 00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:48,481 He's gonna be plenty Sore at you, cliffo. 490 00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:51,618 I suppose he is, coach, And perhaps justly so. 491 00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:52,952 Perhaps? 492 00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:55,722 Underneath that anger Is gonna be love And understanding. 493 00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:59,826 You see, we go back a Long way, he and I. 494 00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:01,294 When he comes in, 495 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:04,931 I'm just going to go Up to him and ask For his forgiveness. 496 00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:07,434 Here comes norm now. 497 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,736 Ah, good. If I know him, 498 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:13,406 His understanding Will not long Be withheld. 499 00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:18,144 Hey, come on, You guys! 500 00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:21,581 Oh, no! Oh, no! 501 00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:23,082 Whoa! 502 00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:24,183 Come on, come on. 503 00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:25,585 I'll kill him! 504 00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:27,554 First, I want to Hurt him a whole lot! 505 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,288 Take him over there, Will you? 506 00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:32,759 Just take it Easy there. 507 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:36,463 Get him out of here, Sam, out of this bar, Out of my life, forever! 508 00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,398 Ok, all right, Normie, look, I'll go. 509 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:40,199 But I want you To remember one thing-- 510 00:21:40,266 --> 00:21:43,035 I took a chance for you. I confessed and Got you out of jail! 511 00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:46,373 I wouldn't have been in Jail if it wasn't for you! 512 00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:48,708 I'm sorry About that, normie. 513 00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:51,411 I'm really sorry, but Try and understand-- 514 00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:54,414 Your job's just a job. 515 00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:57,917 But being a mailman Is my whole identity. 516 00:21:57,984 --> 00:22:00,420 I risked My whole world, 517 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:03,423 My entire life To buy your freedom 518 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:05,692 Because I love you, norm. 519 00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:08,428 Oh, come on, norm. 520 00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:11,598 Isn't There something Cliff can do? 521 00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:15,935 Norman, he's right. 522 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,507 What is your heart Telling you? 523 00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:23,275 Never mind. It's a long story. 524 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,111 Good-bye, norm. 525 00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:29,716 All right, wait, Cliffie, wait. 526 00:22:32,585 --> 00:22:35,522 I guess we have been friends A long time. 527 00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:38,425 You are By nature a weasel. 528 00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:42,529 All right... 529 00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:46,733 There's something You can do for me, I guess. 530 00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:48,468 Buy me a beer. 531 00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:55,742 With your pants Around your ankles. 532 00:22:58,611 --> 00:23:00,547 You can't Be serious, norm. 533 00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:02,549 Ankles, cliffie. 534 00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:04,050 Standing on that stool. 535 00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:08,421 While barking Like a seal. 536 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:19,031 [barking] 537 00:23:19,098 --> 00:23:20,567 Let's not stay. 538 00:23:20,633 --> 00:23:22,669 There will be A cover charge.